Mark Manson once famously said the following:
Shit is f*cked and we have to live with it.
If that isn’t a fresh and raw spoonful of truth! However, majority of self-help books and motivational speakers wouldn’t dare let you ponder on that. They want you hooked on the idea of living a happy, feel-good-all-the-time life rid of negative thinking and experiences. Please refer back to the earlier quote as to why that is not possible.
The book The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fck* by Mark Manson is a self help book that counters most self-help books you will see today in that it gives a much more grounded way of improving ones life. So, let’s dive into why your team needs the knowledge in this book and the exact way you can hand them that knowledge on a silver platter (It’s free!).
Limited number of F’s
The core idea of this book is pretty much as follows:
We have a limit to what we can actually care about, so make sure the times you do, count!
The amount of F’s we can give are limited! There are probably countless times you bring up where you worried over something that didn’t really matter. You stressed over something before and while it happened. You basically got ripped off because you paid twice.
This means we need to be purposeful about what we care about, so we can master what actually matters.
Let’s head into the world of rock and roll for a story that best illustrates this point:
You’re out of the band!
In the book, Mark compares the stories of Dave Mustaine, former member of Metallica, and Pete Best, former member of The Beatles. Mustaine was fired from Metallica and swore revenge on them. So, he formed his own band, Megadeth, determined to become way more successful than Metallica. In this venture, Megadeth sold 38 million copies worldwide. That’s pretty successful right? Well Mustaine didn’t think so. In fact, Mustaine believed it was a complete flop because they never came close to beating Metallica.
On the other hand, Best gave up on rock n roll. He decided it just wasn’t really for him. He went on to get married and having a family. Funny thing is, he believes getting kicked out of The Beatles was the best thing this for him.
The one who felt he was a failure sold 38 million records but the one who felt he felt he succeeded gave up on rock n roll. Why is that? We believe that three lessons in this book are the answer to that question. Three lessons that could bring about some major self-improvement to your team. let’s take a look at them.
Number one is that you need to find struggles that make you happy. Mark says in the book:
The desire for positive experiences is in itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.
Basically when you desire something that you believe will be positive, it can make your current situation become very negative. Comparison is the thief of joy. When people constantly have desired for something new, they are in a constant negative state. It’s about finding a balance between being satisfied with what you have and desiring things we are willing to struggle for.
Secondly, is that you will never be satisfied if you have crappy values. Best had better values to measure his success and failure than Mustaine did. Values that were based in reality and helping out society such as honesty and integrity. Where Mustaine focused on constantly increasing his wealth and revenge in a sense.
Thirdly, you need to take control over your mistakes and actions to see positive change. Most people are passengers in their own life and are quick to blame something else for the bad things. We have to learn to how to take ownership of our own situations. We can master change by controlling our attitude towards situations in our lives instead of trying to control the situation.
Now, how do we help our teams realise and implement this?
One thing to give an F about
If you want to share the knowledge in Manson’s book with your team, Atomic Talks offers a free coaching video and rehearsal deck to help you deliver a presentation on the topic. By sharing Manson’s message of embracing struggle and choosing where to give our f*cks, you can help your team develop a more grounded and fulfilling approach to life. So, what are you waiting for? Sign up for Atomic Talks and start spreading the message today!